


the grass where you lay left a bed in your shape

by InkCaviness



Series: Sylvix Week 2020 [2]
Category: Fire Emblem Series, Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Getting Together, M/M, Pining, Sylvix Week 2020 (Fire Emblem), no beta we die like Glenn, snapshots of gay yearning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-22
Updated: 2020-09-22
Packaged: 2021-03-07 16:48:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,083
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26600920
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/InkCaviness/pseuds/InkCaviness
Summary: He lies awake at night and thinks about the way Felix’s hair curls at the nape of his neck, the way his nose scrunches up when he laughs, how much Sylvain longs to hold him. There’s a collection of snapshots in his mind, playing over and over again and he wants to stop it but he’s not sure what he would do without it.Maybe he’s forgotten how to fall out of love.
Relationships: Felix Hugo Fraldarius/Sylvain Jose Gautier
Series: Sylvix Week 2020 [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1935136
Comments: 8
Kudos: 53





	the grass where you lay left a bed in your shape

**Author's Note:**

> it's gay yearning babey!!!! (or: moments of sylvain having gay little emotions over felix)  
> for day 2 of sylvix week, prompts: pining/longing, PDA, college AU  
> title from [strawberry blond](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g685pAuKW34) by mitski

He lies awake at night and thinks about Felix. He’s not sure when it started, if it started even before he even realized he likes _men_ but it becomes a distraction during their third year of college. Felix has grown more content over the years, the anger and frustration slowly smoothing out and it’s the most mesmerizing change Sylvain has ever seen. He carries himself differently now, head held high as always but without the constant tension running through his body and Sylvain cannot look away.

He also can’t do anything about this observation so, instead, he lies awake at night and thinks about the way Felix’s hair curls at the nape of his neck, the way his nose scrunches up when he laughs, how much Sylvain longs to _hold_ him. There’s a collection of snapshots in his mind, playing over and over again and he wants to stop it but he’s not sure what he would do without it. Maybe he’s forgotten how to fall out of love.

* * *

Felix shivers in the winter cold. It’s reflex almost, an old habit from- well, from his time of falling in and out of love with someone new each week, but Sylvain drapes his jacket across Felix’s shoulders without thinking about it. They’re both accustomed to the cold but Sylvain has always run just a bit warmer, somewhat of a walking furnace in the winter, that Felix used to gravitate towards like a cat. He has that same grateful look now as he did when they were children as he wraps himself up in the just slightly too large jacket.

When he gives it back it smells like Felix’s cologne. He hadn’t realized Felix even wore cologne until now but the smell is undeniably _his_ and he can’t resist burrowing his face in the fabric and breathing in deeply. He misses Felix. It’s been barely three hours since they saw each other and Sylvain realizes he misses Felix so much it makes his chest ache.

* * *

They have a three hour lecture on Tuesdays, an intro to philosophy in law they both only ended up in by coincidence and the professor who seems too young to be one spends most of their time talking about their husband and also for some reason. Inexplicably both of these seem to actually be related to the topic. There’s a short break halfway through that the professor always seems to disappear for and Sylvain leans back in his chair, chattering on about a party next weekend and Felix should really come, it’s gonna be _fun_ , while he slowly peels a tangerine. Felix sits hunched over, squinting at something on his phone, a message from Annette judging by the abundance of little animal emojis, but he still grunts at all the important parts of Sylvain’s blathering.

“Here,” Sylvain says when he’s done peeling the fruit and waves a slice of tangerine in Felix’s general direction.

Felix doesn’t take it, or respond really, instead he just slightly turns his head to the side and opens his mouth, eyes still fixed on his phone. Sylvain thinks his heart must have skipped a beat and whatever he was going to say next gets stuck in his throat. Still he gently feeds Felix the tangerine and pretends his hands aren’t trembling when his fingertips lightly brush against Felix’s lips or when Felix lets out a content noise as he chews.

Sylvain has never before been this grateful about the lecture resuming.

* * *

Just before finals week Felix has to crash at Sylvain’s place. He explains it loudly, gesturing widely, as he rambles on that his roommate didn’t just bring someone back home, _no_ , she also had to audacity of locking him out of the apartment completely. Sylvain is sure he nods along and maybe even comments at the right points but all his brain is stuck on is that Felix doesn’t have any clothes to sleep in and Sylvain never saw the point in buying a futon. They’ve been sharing beds since they were children but, well. It seems different now. It seems different now, especially when he gives Felix one of his shirts to sleep in and it strains a bit along his shoulders but falls loosely around his hips, more so than it does on Sylvain and he feels like he needs to go take a cold shower.

Felix falls asleep easy that night, curled up with his back towards the edge of the bed while Sylvain lies awake and tries to only stare at the ceiling.

* * *

There’s a park not too far from campus and during the summer that’s where they spend most of their time. Felix has gotten roped into some sort of Frisbee group and he rolls his eyes at some of their antics but Sylvain sees the way his eyes light up when they meet in the park. Sylvain doesn’t have much of an interest in running around in this heat and prefers to lounge in the grass with Mercedes. He’s not staring, he tells himself, he’s only watching his friends have fun. And what if his friend happens to wear tanktops cut open almost all the way down at the sides, that show off just how strong his arms are. He’s definitely not staring.

And what if Felix collapses next to them afterwards, panting just slightly, and chooses to take a nap with his head in Sylvain’s lap.

He pretends not to notice Mercedes’ knowing look but his face feels like it’s on fire.

* * *

They’re watching some boring cooking show when Felix kisses him. He’d been leaning against Sylvain’s shoulder, a steady weight half curled up against his side and Sylvain hadn’t been focused on the show for a while now, instead staring transfixed at the shadows Felix’s eyelashes painted against his cheekbones. He almost doesn’t notice when Felix looks up, when he’s suddenly staring into dark eyes instead. Felix’s head is tipped back, a questioning quirk to his eyebrows but all Sylvain can focus on is the smooth line of Felix’s throat. He stares for a bit too long, then squeezes his eyes shut and tries to relax back into the couch as much as he can.

“I have to tell you something,” he breathes out. His voice doesn’t sound as choked up as he expected it would and-

Then there’s a hand in his hair, gripping tightly and pulling his head down until their lips meet.

* * *

He sleeps soundly that night with his arms wrapped around Felix.

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading, comments are greatly appreciated!  
> you can also find me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/InkCaviness) and retweet this [here](https://twitter.com/InkCaviness/status/1308472852249796613?s=19)


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